A number of weeks in the past I wrote a column on “Men’s Soiled Little Secrets and techniques” and spilled the beans on the truth that most men do not know a lot about condoms, besides that they seem to be a mood-killer, sensation-duller, and total large pain-in-the-ass. At the moment, I did not elaborate, however judging out of your emails, I piqued various readers’ curiosity. Thus, I’m responding with a brief treatise on “The Correct Care and Feeding of a Prophylactic.”
Earlier than I start, nevertheless, I need to handle just a few questions which may understandably be crossing your thoughts, comparable to: “Why is he giving directions to girls on condom utilization? Should not he be giving this data to men? Do not now we have sufficient contraception strategies to be accountable for – cannot guys be liable for one factor?” All honest questions, to make certain. However the backside line on this topic is: Regardless of readily-available directions, guys are woefully unaware of their lack of know-how on this area. And if men are ignorant about find out how to correctly apply, use, take away and eliminate a condom, girls are those who’re going to unwittingly pay the worth. And with the worth being undesirable being pregnant or contraction of a potentially-fatal illness, the necessity so that you can be educated turns into crucial. It will not be your job, but when your man is ill-informed or clueless, you’ll nonetheless must endure the implications.
The very first thing to learn about condoms is that they weren’t initially developed to cease being pregnant. The truth is, after they got here into existence, their mission was to cease the unfold of STDs which have been apparently operating rampant in sure components of “civilized society.” Their utilization as a contraceptive system did not come into play till greater than a century later when scientists lastly discovered that offering a barrier to these sneaky, resourceful little spermatozoa bastards may successfully restrict the variety of respectable and illegitimate offspring who would in the end be preventing tooth and nail for his or her share of mentioned sperm producer’s property. And so it was, that this pesky penis protector, then made from animal intestines, discovered its manner into the hearts, minds and vaginas of our sexually-active ancestors.
However that is sufficient digression. Let’s speak about trendy condoms and their utilization. As you already know, when used accurately, as we speak’s latex condoms are touted to be about ninety-seven p.c efficient as a contraceptive system and supply among the best defenses in opposition to STDs this facet of conserving your legs tightly crossed (animal pores and skin condoms, whereas purportedly providing comparable being pregnant safety and extra sensation to the male, are a much less efficient methodology of stemming the circulation of organisms that trigger sexually transmitted ailments). So how are these condoms correctly used?
1) At all times test the expiration date on the condom, one thing guys typically neglect. Whereas typically tough to do within the warmth and low-light of passionate encounters, it’s nonetheless very important to the method of efficient utilization. I imply, you would not drink expired milk, and the worst that may trigger is gastro-intestinal misery. Expired condoms could cause infants and loss of life (a bit dramatic, however nonetheless true).
2) The condom must be placed on earlier than any shut encounters together with your decrease lips. The pre-ejaculate fluid that loiters on the penis tip early on within the erectile course of can include sperm and transmittable microbes in case your companion is STD-infected. So “no rubbin’ and not using a rubber.”
3) The penis must be erect earlier than you cloak it in a condom. In case your man optimistically wrapped his manhood earlier than he even picked you up for dinner, demand he re-apply a model new one (the previous one might have been compromised and why take the prospect) when he’s at “full consideration.”
4) Take the brand new, unexpired, condom out of its packaging. Squeeze the tip, to pressure out any gathered air and create an area for the seminal fluid that may definitely be forthcoming (Do that even when the condom is manufactured with a “receptacle tip,” and particularly if it isn’t). Failure to offer ample room for the approaching geyser, considerably will increase the probability of condom breakage. That spurt of “manseed” has to go someplace, in spite of everything. And if a correct “holding space” hasn’t been created, the expelled semen may very well bust by the latex, making a large number, each actually and figuratively.
5) Subsequent, easy the condom all the way in which down the penis. The condom is sort of a home-owner’s insurance coverage coverage, and also you’re in search of full protection. Why? As a result of when you get to bumpin’ and grindin’ you need to ensure that sucker is firmly anchored in place, and the extra grip-able floor, the higher.
6) Now to the matter of lubrication. These of you who’ve learn my e book, “Each Man Sees You Bare,” already know what a lubrication advocate I’m. And plentiful lubrication when utilizing a condom is totally important. I’m not speaking concerning the heat, natural fluid that naturally moistens your vagina and signifies arousal and penetration-preparedness. I’m speaking concerning the type of lubricant you buy with gentle discomfort at Walgreens, all of the whereas hoping you do not run into your boss, your aged aunt, or your pastor. This lubricant must be water-soluble, like KY Jelly or Astroglide. Lotions, butter, or petroleum-based merchandise ought to by no means be used with condoms, as their chemical response with latex might compromise the condom’s structural integrity. In different phrases, keep away from these until you need to get knocked-up or contaminated. Why lubricant? As a result of sexual exercise creates friction and friction can rub you and your condom the mistaken manner. And although you might solely endure a bit soreness, an excessive amount of friction can enhance the danger of condom breakage (Hey, perhaps they need to make these items out of one thing a bit extra sturdy – like titanium, maybe). In any case, the extra lubrication, the much less friction. The much less friction, the simpler the condom utilization. And it goes with out saying; the lubricant goes ON THE OUTSIDE of the condom. Lubricate the within, and you might later end up on a scavenger hunt of your womb.
7) Now a fast phrase about spermicides. Use of this stealthy sperm murderer can improve the contraceptive effectiveness of the condom. It could be discreetly bought on-line or at your native drug retailer. And a few condoms are even “pre-lubed” with a spermicidal agent…a particular plus. No matter your alternative, in the event you’re severe about laying aside parenthood, a spermicide is an efficient complement to different contraceptive measures 콘돔.
8) So he correctly placed on his non-expired condom previous to contact together with your personal components. He glazed his completely-sheathed erection with the beneficial lubricant after which (lastly) insinuated himself inside your hospitable surroundings. You then two went at it like rabbits. Now, in the event you do not need to have bunnies in your future, there’s nonetheless another factor he must do. Very quickly after he has had his orgasm, he should grip the condom on the base, close to his testicles, and thoroughly extricate himself from the heat of your loins. In plain English, he ought to cum and go. You see, as quickly as your man ejaculates, he begins to slowly (and typically not-so-slowly) lose his erection. This gradual “shrinkage” causes the condom to suit much less snuggly and permits for the contained seminal fluid to start slithering down his shaft and out the underside of the condom. And in case your man remains to be imbedded in you, all his escaping swimmers might breaststroke their manner into your decrease passage, looking out ever vigilantly for a receptive egg to cozy as much as. And you don’t need that to occur, proper? So, gently however firmly, insist he “vacate your premises” (your vagina, not your home) quickly after he is carried out his factor.
9) As soon as he is safely withdrawn, he ought to eliminate his condom within the trash. Recommend to him that he not flush it down the bathroom, as it could clog your pipes (and never in a great way). He then ought to wash all remaining remnants of his “love-juice” off his member earlier than rejoining you in bed to revel within the afterglow (nonetheless conserving his penis and your vagina at arm’s size, lest just a few stray however potent drops of his discharge be lurking at his penile tip, able to make their assault in your now unprotected womanhood).
So there it’s. Every little thing you and your man must learn about find out how to correctly shield each of you from undesirable being pregnant and the unfold of nasty diseases. And though you might assume he already is aware of all this, if he makes use of a condom and does not strictly adhere to all the above-mentioned procedures, he actually is placing each of you in danger. However in the event you do not feel snug broaching the topic with him, be at liberty to actually take issues into your individual palms. You’ll be able to then flip making use of, “lubing,” and eradicating his condom into a horny, constructive expertise. He’ll seemingly admire your efforts with out ever realizing that your motivation was his lack of know-how. You protected his ego and your well being. And what may very well be higher than that?
© 2008 David M. Matthews. All Rights Reserved.